I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
