Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
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Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
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Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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