Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize