Im at strip club and am horny
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize