Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
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