so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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