mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
