It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize