accomplished twins. life is a go
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
