who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
