So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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