it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
