Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
