i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
