Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
