It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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