how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
