the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Randomize
