Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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