about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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