Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
