He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
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