i will never coherently bang her
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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