Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
