what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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