There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
