Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
