just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Randomize
