she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
