Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
