Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
hell yes lets make some ravioli
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
