oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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