Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
