roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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