I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
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