New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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