Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
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Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
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ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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