The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
