just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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