i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
