if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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