The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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