white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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