Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
