Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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