In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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