Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
