yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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