well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Randomize
