do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize