Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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