that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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