Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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