Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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