The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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