Define "chronic" masturbator.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
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