She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
