There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize