I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
