I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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