I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
