Texts From Last Night

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  (773): View more from Illinois

  I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.

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  (773): I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant. (847): Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you. http://tfl.nu/48mv
  Replies (63) Good night (2785) Bad night (5892)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.

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  (832): So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket. http://tfl.nu/78sj
  Replies (27) Good night (1879) Bad night (3339) Order T-Shirt
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  (831): View more from California

  she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.

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  (831): she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it. http://tfl.nu/5c70
  Replies (16) Good night (4544) Bad night (1025) Order T-Shirt
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  (310): View more from California

  I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame

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  (310): I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame http://tfl.nu/qjff
  Replies (14) Good night (3247) Bad night (973) Order T-Shirt
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.

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  (413): Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again. http://tfl.nu/hakk
  Replies (3) Good night (1502) Bad night (2256)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.

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  (702): It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B. http://tfl.nu/uw83
  Replies (8) Good night (1108) Bad night (2254) Order T-Shirt
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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.

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  (870): I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god. http://tfl.nu/nsks
  Replies (8) Good night (2381) Bad night (1130) Order T-Shirt
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  (646): View more from New York

  still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious

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  (646): still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious http://tfl.nu/u252
  Replies (4) Good night (626) Bad night (1496) Order T-Shirt
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??

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  (304): Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away?? http://tfl.nu/5x5i
  Replies (4) Good night (1541) Bad night (1051) Order T-Shirt
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  (406): View more from Montana

  All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off

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  (406): All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off http://tfl.nu/72k1
  Replies (14) Good night (2069) Bad night (788) Order T-Shirt
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  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down

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  (580): true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down http://tfl.nu/hwj1
  Replies (5) Good night (1551) Bad night (622) Order T-Shirt
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  He's only going to be gone for two weeks

  (1-314): View more from Missouri

  That's two months in gay whore years.

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  (314): He's only going to be gone for two weeks (1-314): That's two months in gay whore years. http://tfl.nu/9nuw
  Replies (3) Good night (1105) Bad night (452) Order T-Shirt
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date

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  (402): As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date http://tfl.nu/07k6
  Replies (8) Good night (320) Bad night (1896) Order T-Shirt
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  (716): View more from New York

  Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth

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  (716): Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth http://tfl.nu/he9m
  Replies (1) Good night (443) Bad night (356) Order T-Shirt
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.

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  (614): We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened. http://tfl.nu/b5dx
  Replies (2) Good night (1044) Bad night (187) Order T-Shirt

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